Speechless day!!

Speechless is really good...to me!!

If I choose being speechless again...
I think I will be back .....without saying anything by just walking in and out....
To have this habit I think past  4 or 5 years....

Do I really need to have that kind of habit.....??
No actually that kind of habit should not with me all the while...
Because with that habit I know I am not happy....

Since I  am changing my habit....
I am brave enough to have one step forward...
This mean I am change and would like to have my new life...and accept by others...

Why these few month....I really can felt that I am vexed....
Why just a simply things can vexed me up in these few month...
How am I going to face all these...？？
why you all need to treat me like this...
I really don't want all this happen in my life....
what I hope is just simple....
Do I do anything wrong ??
Do I make you all unhappy??
Do I very bad??

Keep on thinking...but I don't have any answer....!!
I really so tired....
If you all need to treat me as what you treat me now....why you all given the happiness in the past....
With what you all did I really pain in my heart....
But what I did to you all really truth and all from my heart....
Because once I say .."yes"....forever...will be" yes" in my life...!!
No matter how you all think about...!!

Should I let go....??
But I know...I can't
Because I care of them and love them very much...
They given me a lot of  happiness with their care I really feel it....especially.....who always accompany me.....
If  I can do it...
I think I will not that vexed....

If I am a person who is so easy to let go .....
I think the person who is really hate by me....
Maybe you all still young ....do not know how my feeling is....

But I can say is ...I am not happy....because you all give me the happiness in the beginning  but at last....I really feel disappointment....
I really hope you all will change and not fake to me...

Just think by yourself...if you all care for someone but the person refuse your care....how is your feeling???
How is your  feeling....is just like what feeling am I ...now??

Although I have a month holidays....
but my feeling in this month....really giving me a lot of vexed
hopefully it will past soon....

Anyone who is not understand me much...
they will think that I am very happy....
but I am not...
it just that I do not want to show out .....
how pain is my heart...you all will not know it....
because all just keeping in my heart ....
really no place for me to voice out....
So I choose a place here...to type it out...as long as..it will calm me down...
Hopefully I have a wonderful 2012 year!!